Moving in With Your Partner Without the Headache

Miles Oliver
Moving in with your partner can be hard.  Here's how to do it without headache.
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Love is in the air, and you’re ready to take things to the next level with your partner. That next level is moving in together. But how many times have you heard someone say, “Living with your significant other is HARD.” You may have even heard, “Don’t do it.” 


From searching for a home to the actual move-in to living in harmony in the same space, moving in with your romantic partner is work. That said, it’s worthwhile work. And fortunately, there are things you can do to ensure the move-in starts on a sturdy foundation.   


Here’s how to make moving in with your partner seamless. No headaches involved.  

Search for a Home Together 

We’ve heard about situations where one partner picks the home and controls where the couple moves. Sadly, this can lead to the other partner feeling resentful, lonely, and isolated once they get there. All three can take a relationship down. 


Looking for a home together is a better approach. You’ll have a say in the location you’re moving to, whether it’s an apartment, home, or condo, and what your non-negotiables are in a home. 


Start your search for a home online. There are plenty of apartment and home search platforms to choose from. Pop in your preferences, and you’ll have a decent-sized list of homes to visit. But beware of some of the negatives of searching for a home on the internet


For example, some of these platforms' mortgage calculators and valuation tools aren’t as accurate. Photos can be deceptive. And home-buying scams are alive and well. So, contact a banking or mortgage professional for a proper financial depiction. Visit any apartment or home in person too. 

Discuss Goals and Finances 

Finances and the future top the list of topics that can drive a wedge between any couple. If you aren’t on the same page before you move in with your partner, that disconnect will only get larger after you move in together. 


So, take time to discuss goals and finances with your partner thoroughly. Regarding goals, see where you both are on these questions:


  • What do the next five years look like for you? The next 10?
  • Do you see a career change in the future?
  • Will this place be your “forever home?” 
  • If not, how long do you want to be in this home?
  • Is marriage and children in the future? 
  • Do you want more pets?
  • Do you see yourself traveling?


Then, take even more time discussing finances. There will be two of you living there now. So, are you both on the same page when it comes to saving money on utility and other bills? Or is one of you more rigid than the other? Also, talk about the following:


  • How much each of you brings in 
  • The debt you’re bringing into the household 
  • Your individual perspectives on money 
  • Your plan for paying off debt 
  • How you’ll split the bills 
  • What kind of budget you’ll be on 
  • What savings habits you want to implement 


Dig deep into finances and the future to ensure you’re working toward a life you both want. 


Image Source: Pixabay

Talk About Your Roles in the Household 

According to Pew Research Center, 59% of women who responded to their survey said they do more household chores than their spouse or partner, while 46% of men said these responsibilities are shared equally. Whether they’re happy about either setup is another question. 


It’s essential to determine the roles you and your spouse will play in your household before you move in together. Arguments about one person doing more in the home than the other are all too common and can drain a relationship. 


Decide how you’ll divide housework. And make sure that each other is okay with helping out when the other falls short of their duties. 

Map Out the Details of Moving Day 

Moving day is by far one of the most stressful. It can be so stressful that frustration and meaningless arguments arise, and the bliss of moving in together is ruined. Mapping out the details of moving day can make the process much smoother


Create a schedule for the day. You may not be able to stick to it entirely, but at least you’ll have an outline of what needs to get done and when. Be sure everyone who’s helping knows where to go and what their roles are in the move. 


It’s also a good idea to consider hiring a reputable packing and moving company to take the stress of packing and getting your things to your new place off your plate. 


Image Source: Pixabay

Create Individual and Couple Routines 

The seriousness of moving in with someone sets in with daily living. 


You start to see their hygiene habits, if they clean up after themselves, their shopping habits, their work routines, and so forth. And once you see these things, you might also realize how they do things doesn’t mesh well with how you do things. 


Don’t let your differences drive you apart. Instead, honor your individual routines and create routines you do as a couple. Let each other be yourselves but come up with things you can do together to keep you close and growing. 


For example, you might each have a routine you do to get ready for work in the morning. Keep those individual routines in place. But come up with a routine you do together once you get home from work, like walking the dog, cooking dinner together, and then having a 20-minute intimate conversation. 


Build a life together, but honor who you are as individuals. 




Moving in with your partner is a milestone worth celebrating. Ensure the move itself, and your living situation thereafter is filled with more joy than headaches by implementing the tips above. 

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